Who Are You and What Are You Doing in My Kitchen? Part III

Where am I? Where are you?
Well, long story short, we are on Earth, but anybody could tell you that. I'm going to tell you where you actually are...

So, science has deduced that we live in some random spot in the Universe, which is big. Really big. You just can't imagine how big it really is. It has in it, everything that has ever existed ever. Well, at least since the beginning of it. Who knows what was there, if anything, before the universe. But that's a different story. Our Universe, where "Earth" is, is, well, where "Earth" is. It's where everything is. If you want something, I can assure you you'll find it in the Universe. Any kind of matter, all the time, cats, everything! Including us. But, where exactly is the Universe? As far as I know, It's everywhere! It's so big, it takes up 93 billion light years in space. That's enormous. Don't even ask me how enormous that is, because I'm no astronomer, I'm a person. I just know that this makes everybody and everything extremely insignificant. It really makes everything quite pointless.

So, we live on Earth. Yes. And the Earth is somewhere in the universe. Yes. And the Universe takes up a space in Space that is nearly incomprehensible. Yes. So, where is Space? ...Yes?

Look what I did.

So, I tried my hand at stitching, but with the lack of a

good textile to use,

I went ahead and sacrificed a canvas that

I've had laying around for a while. This is it.

The picture doesn't do it justice;

it's a tish more green than that, but yes.

I went ahead and did some macro too, 

because, well, who doesn't like a good macro shot?

I'M starting to feel like it's been a...

Long while since I started this short story I'm doing, and I already feel like it has been forever.
One day, I want to be able to just sit down and type out ten pages, but I feel like that's never going to happen.
Not that I expect myself to be there tomorrow, or next week, or even in a few years, but still...
Every time I sit down to type a paragraph it seems to go pretty quickly.
Like, I'll look up and a half-hour has gone by.
You know, I just don't think it should take that long to pull a paragraph into existence.
*poof*

When I read what I have typed so far though, I'm extremely happy with what I have.
I am doing a lot better than I thought I would.
Low expectations are good to have. You either do a lot better and are happy, or you fail and it's not all that bad.
Little by little it's coming along, though, and one day it will be done and I will be satisfied.

Yeah... I've been considering posting a WIP of it on dA to get criticism and to see if it's even worth finishing.
On the other hand, I don't know if I want to ruin the surprise, or if it would help me at all.
Unnecessary uploads are a burden on everybody. So, I don't know.

Besides the thing I'm working on now, I have one other really awesome thing I'm doing.
Every time I have an idea, I've been trying to follow through on it... It's going well, I think.

When I finish with these though, I'm not to sure what I'm going to do next.
It's not to often I have kind of interesting ideas like this to write about.
The next time I do might be a long while...
However, they might not. Maybe they'll just keep coming at a steady pace and I won't run out for a while...

Moving on... Hmm... I... Don't think I have anything more to ramble on about.
Eventually I will though, so don't worry. It's not the end of procrastination posts...
¿'kay?

I also have this fear smouldering inside of my chest, eating away at the rational part of my brain.
My heart has been racing for the past few hours...
It makes my stomach feel like it's suspended from my lungs, and it hurts...

Hail, Hail, Thanksgiving.

Ah... The long weekend has been good to me.
Plenty of food, good company, nothing pestering me; I could not ask for more.
Well, I would like someone to do the work I have for the weekend, and I wouldn't mind extending the break for a day or two--I quite enjoy sleeping in-- but what can you do?

Oh, I had this weird dream that I was in an art class at school taught by my chemistry teacher (I have a lot of those, but this one was in a basement rather than on the roof, or a secret room, or just a regular art room, or a real one from my past, et cetera, et cetera...) and this kid came in with a bag that turned out to be a bomb, and everyone escaped from the room except me and my boyfriend, because he want to try and save everybody, but we were tied together for some reason so I couldn't go anywhere and it was hard to walk around, and we were trying to stop the timer, but we couldn't so we leaped out of the screen (Like you were watching my dream on a monitor) and we were in like, an old Gameboy colour, but it was a different scene of real life, and we were in this maze trying to escape the blast range of the bomb, and all of a sudden we were both wearing matching trench coats, and then we were almost out of the maze, but we came to this part where we had to climb up this house plant because we had shrunk down to the size of mice, and my best friend was in the plant with a broken leg because she had been attacked by a giant bug, so I was trying to carry her on my back but it was slowing me down and I couldn't climb up the plant fast enough, so I dropped her down to her death so we could get away and live because the bomb was about to go off, and we got to the top of the plant, and there was this tiny house that we went inside, and it was like the house of my dreams, and it was so beautiful, and we went into the kitchen and there was a dumbwaiter in the back, so we got in it and it took us to the basement and there all that was in there were a bunch of peacocks and polar bears walking around and sitting on all the furniture watching telly and things, and when we stepped out of the dumbwaiter they all just stared at us, so we went back up, but we went past the kitchen to the bed room, and went to bed in this huge, old canopy bed that was covered in gorgeous red bedding because we were so tired from running and then I woke up.

It was interesting.
*sigh*... Sometimes sleeping can be so tiring though.

Life Regrets

Hmm... I hate the colour of my bedroom. And most everything in it.
I want to change it. All of it. It needs to be so different than what it is now.
... I want to paint it red. RED.
But I can't. It's much to large and I have no money.

*sigh*... I want to be able to put an adjective on myself that completely sums me up. After I find that one adjective that fits me, I can find the style that fits that adjective, and then I will finally know what I'm looking for when I go clothes shopping. And in the future furniture shopping. But in the meantime I feel so blank; so lost looking for an identity. Which I guess is kind of good because I'm a blank canvas; I can do anything with myself. But I just don't know what colour to lay down first. Or what kind of paint to use for that matter... Acrylics or oils? Or watercolours? Or maybe I should go a different direction and perhaps use charcoal or pastels. I don't know...

Hmm... Now I want to try and paint how I feel. Maybe I will do that. I have canvas downstairs. The only problem is that I can only paint rubbish. It's all just... poppycock.

I guess the main feeling of tonight is as follows...
I don't know who I am.
Or what I am for that matter.
And I feel lost.
And I feel like I'm going to be lost forever.
Drifting about in a large white space with no sense of direction.

'Twas a slow day Mr. Green...

Like, nothing has happened in forever.

It's been a slow January.

Ah...

Anyway...

Today wasn't all that bad.

In the middle of my day, I got so depressed.

I wanted to lay down on the floor, but there were people around so I couldn't.

That guy, Is so fantastic.

I wish I wasn't such a freak.

I can't talk to anybody.

And the people I can talk to, talk to each other through me.

That is so annoying.

Ugg...

The people who live in this town shouldn't be able to raise kids.

Everybody is such an idiot.

I need to run away from here, but I'm not financially... fuck, I can't even remember what I was going to say.

But I don't have enough money, and I have yet to find a travel companion.

And I don't even know what I would do with my cat.

I would take him with, but that seems like it would be a struggle.

Maybe if I had a travel companion, it would be easier.

I'm going to go make a sandwich soon.

I want one.

There are all these things that I need to know, but by the time I'm in a position to find information about them, I forget what I was doing in the first place.

I need to drink TaB.

I have lived my life without doing so, and I think that it's time to do that.

Augh!

That's not a word.

But anyway...

When I'm e-mailing with people and I use a word or a cultural reference that they don't know, they don't even bother to look it up.

I mean, you have a COMPUTER in front of you.

Look it up!

It's not like you are going to reply right away anyway.

Take a minute to NOT look like a lazy idiot, and go look it up!

Learn something new.

I mean really.

It happens ALL the time.

I hate kids also.

I'm not saying that they are bad, but I' am so annoyed by other people's kids.

They are so loud, all the time.

It's ridiculous.

I wish it would go away.

I wish everything I don't like would go away.

Ah!

I have been looking for a grey shirt, just something casual to wear with jeans, but they don't make any, and I don't have instructions or access to a sewing machine, so I can't do anything about it.

It's sew annoying.

Ha ha ha...

I love puns.

Also I love pantomimes.

Like the street performing ones.

It is so neat.

I wish people could appreciate them.

But they don't.

I have a lot more to complain about, but also a lot more to do.

Happy Birthday Jackson Pollock!

You made me love abstract art.

Today was a busy day...

Well, not really.

It was actually rather boring.

I watched some movies, loitered, and played my clarinet.

Oh!

Also, I walked right into a love triangle.

Yeah, tell me about it.

It consists of me, and Best friend, and this guy.

Is this cliché or what?

I'm totally serious about it too.

I always thought this situation would be an easy one, but boy was I wrong.

More on this story as it develops.

Which won't be until at least Wednesday because I have Monday and Tuesday off.

Here is an interesting picture that I think describes my situation perfectly.