Billy Williams?

You know... I've been thinking quite a lot the past week... and it turns out all of my problems are completely internally-created. Get it? I make my life harder for myself. And I don't mean to do it. I really wish I could change my personality a little bit so I wasn't an opportunistic, jealous (this seems to be my biggest problem), kind of person who bottles up her emotions and doesn't know how to put herself before others. That would help immensely. But then I think... Would it really?
If I didn't make myself miserable, would I still be a moderately happy person? If there was nothing for me to complain about; If there was nothing for me to be sad about, would I still be happy?
I don't think so.
I think I need to be depressed to be happy.
I need a reason to be the centre of attention.
Why?
Why do I need people to be sympathetic for me?
There is nothing wrong with my life.
I have a fantastic life compared to most of the world.

... What's wrong with me?
And what would happen if I could forget about all that.
Ignore the things that bother me and find peace within myself.
Start on a path for finding peace within the world, and eventually the universe...
Hey...
Is that what enlightenment is?
Hmm...
Then again, what would that be?
"Enlightenment".
In other words, total happiness.
Bliss if you will.
Eternal bliss.
Is that possible?
Can any one living creature forget all the things that upset them, be content with themselves, not be angry with anyone being on earth, and just be satisfied with the overall state of the universe?
Has anything done that?
Can the brain do that?
Can I do that?
Could I be the first to?
Should I even bother?
I'm just going to die.
And so is everyone.
Everything is going to revert to it's original state of simple matter eventually.
Is there any point to anything?
Does anything I do matter if it's not going to change the eventual, final outcome?

I don't know...