A Video.

Fool's Gold - "Surprise Hotel" from Paul Tao on Vimeo.

Oh, how golden!

Whilst I was making my Wyatt a housewarming present, I took the liberty of painting a pair of old vans.

VIEW THEM!

And a nice marco shot.
Look at those babies glitter in the sun...

Great Job.

So yeah. The picture doesn't really do the gold any justice, but these things are pretty solid.

I'm happy with it. :)

The Power of Language-- a short.

Here is a quick opinion of mine:

So, It's another month farther into the year. It is... May now?
Yes. And what I'm about to share, is something I've been known to preach if you've known me for a while.
About three or four years ago I've discovered something that I think is one of the worst things that Americans have done to the English Language. Americans are known quite well for throwing certain words into their speech as if they were an endless supply of rainbow sprinkles. You know, all the "naughty words." Yes, the wonderful list of Words Not to Be Uttered. Now, I am going to mention just one of the Sacred Seven...

Anyone who has gone into seventh grade can assure you that starting the first day, everyone thinks they are entitled to use the Word "Fuck" as if it were a conjunction, which it is most certainly not. And throughout the past four decades or so, the word Fuck has become more and more apart of our everyday life. People are so immune to the word, that nobody takes it seriously anymore. What the fuck? That is the naughty word. Well, rather is was.

Looking back, and at all the naughty words in use, it used to be at the top, and for good reasons. The word Fuck conveys (or is supposed to) the most explicit sexual acts, and it used to have the potential to get across so much emotion and it had such power behind it. When someone said it, you knew some nasty shit was going down. But Americans have demolished this once great being into almost nothing. It has become as useless as the word The. It seems like it's in at least every other sentence sputtered out into the air. We have brought it down, and crushed it into nothing. We have bastardise it into  a sorry pile of profanity that is getting closer and closer to becoming uncensored on the telly. We are still ways from that, but a big step closer than it used to be. Can you imagine such a day when they lift their fingers from the big red button when the F-Bomb is in sight? I can. We have let Bitch and Ass and Shit, and even Cock in some cases, pass through most gates. It won't be long, I'll tell you that now.

It's just the saddest thing to me. America took down a once beautiful colossus.
I am going to try to bring it back.
Please use Fuck sparingly.

Confused? Take a read through this:

(1) You've tripped up the stairs at work, and successfully sprayed coffee onto everyone in front of you.
DO NOT use Fuck here. Instead use a more suitable substitute, such as Shit!

(2) You are walking down the street, and unbeknownst to you, a car is about to go through the crosswalk the same time you do.
DO use fuck here. You've been hit by car. That's an appropriate situation.

(3) You come home to find your cat has torn up all the furniture, peed on the remains of it, and helped itself to whatever was left out in the kitchen.
DO use Fuck here. This is a ridiculous situation. You should probably get rid of the cat too. It's an asshole.

(4) You're out of Yoo-Hoo.
It depends on how much you like Yoo-Hoo.

 Hm, so yes. A short. By me.

Inspired by:
This!
You can't not love Mark Frauenfelder.
Clever bastard.

Who Are You and What Are You Doing in My Kitchen? Part III

Where am I? Where are you?
Well, long story short, we are on Earth, but anybody could tell you that. I'm going to tell you where you actually are...

So, science has deduced that we live in some random spot in the Universe, which is big. Really big. You just can't imagine how big it really is. It has in it, everything that has ever existed ever. Well, at least since the beginning of it. Who knows what was there, if anything, before the universe. But that's a different story. Our Universe, where "Earth" is, is, well, where "Earth" is. It's where everything is. If you want something, I can assure you you'll find it in the Universe. Any kind of matter, all the time, cats, everything! Including us. But, where exactly is the Universe? As far as I know, It's everywhere! It's so big, it takes up 93 billion light years in space. That's enormous. Don't even ask me how enormous that is, because I'm no astronomer, I'm a person. I just know that this makes everybody and everything extremely insignificant. It really makes everything quite pointless.

So, we live on Earth. Yes. And the Earth is somewhere in the universe. Yes. And the Universe takes up a space in Space that is nearly incomprehensible. Yes. So, where is Space? ...Yes?

Who Are You and What Are You Doing in My Kitchen? Part II

What am I doing here? What is my purpose?

Well, as far as I see it, there is no rhyme or reason to why anything is anything. We as a society accept things as they are, and forget about it. If the grass was orange instead of green, or cats evolved to be three feet tall, that's just they way it would be, and we would write a wikipedia page about it, and move on with our lives. So, whether or not you die happy, in some sexy accident, or just as miserable as the rest of the world has no affect on the future, the present, or the past; anything you, or anyone else does now won't change the outcome of anything. So, I ask again, What am I doing here? And the simple answer is Living. You are "alive", and just what are you supposed to do with your life? Whatever makes you happy.

Happiness feels good, and I bet that you would rather spend your life feeling good than feeling bad.

Look what I did.

So, I tried my hand at stitching, but with the lack of a

good textile to use,

I went ahead and sacrificed a canvas that

I've had laying around for a while. This is it.

The picture doesn't do it justice;

it's a tish more green than that, but yes.

I went ahead and did some macro too, 

because, well, who doesn't like a good macro shot?

Who are you, and what are you doing in my kitchen? Part I

So, today I present you with this question: Who am I, what am I doing here, and just where am I anyway? Over the course of however many days, I'm going to try to answer this in three different parts, the best I can. So, to begin, Part One: Who am I?


Well, through out the course of my life, and I'm sure yours, time after time, I've been told that I am human. So, I guess I am a human, whatever that word means. I am much taller than a bug, and a lot shorter than a tree; I am driven by emotions rather than ration or logic, and I really like to talk to other things like me. I exist, or so it seems. I'm not sure why I am, or where I am for that matter, but as far as I can tell, other humans see and hear me, so I assume that I am a real.
I think. I can hear things without talking. These thoughts are real; they are happening as I think them. Sometimes I write them down. I can see things. I interpret and try to understand the things and other beings I see. I hear noises that everything makes; and everything makes noise. It's very noisy where ever I am.
I feel. I like to feel. I like to feel people touching me, and I like to touch everything; everything has it's own feeling, it's own warmth or cold. I can smell. Everything smells different. I remember smells quite well.
Remember: I can re-think of thoughts and sights and touches and smells and sounds. I remember a lot.

I do these things a lot. What does it mean?

a number.

I have a classic question for you:
How much of an individual am I?


All throughout our childhood and even a little now, we are told that we are special; there is no one like us in the world. But to what extent is this true? There is you, and there are 6 billion, and growing, other people in this tiny blue stone. Is there enough diversity on a molecular level that can completely make one person an individual? The short answer is YES. Because, well, there is. But hard facts aside, there is always some point in one's life where their "special-ness" is questioned. Whether it is because of a close passer-by that seems to be jacking your look, or it is the sudden realization that every-other chick in your generation has the same coat, same shoes, and same usual at Starbucks, there is going to be some point in your life in which you feel like just another forest-green blade of grass...

I'm blogging about this because I came across quite a few things today that raised this question in my mind, and I wondered how much other people think about this. I wondered, how many other people try so hard to be their own person, and think they stand out from everybody else, when really the only thing keeping them from disappearing into a crowd is the fact that they aren't invisible.
I think everybody wants to be so different and special and new and clever and admired by everybody around them. It's a human urge; a basic instinct to be the center of everybody's attention. And that makes me wonder how much of our lives is spent trying to achieve that; how much disappointment we face because even when we try, we can't completely be different from everybody else. There is always someone with better ideas and is a little more brave to stand up and say what they think in some way or another.

I wonder if we can learn to let go of this want to be the red tulip in a field of yellow, and just do what what you want to do; eat what you're hungry for; dress in what is most comfortable; live whatever life style is natural to you... If that can make everything a little more blissful.

I don't know what to call it.

Okay, so I had this dream that was like, three parts over the course of three nights, so I'm going to put it all together in one big-ass sentence for you...

So, I was in English, just like any other day, and we were doing stuff and shit and stuff, and then it was time for me to go to band, so everybody left and instead of talking to my Wyatt and Breanna, and ignoring Brittany like we do, I just ran to the band room for some reason and we started doing this song that I like, so I was like "Yay!"but then somebody fell down a huge flight of stairs just outside, so we just sat there while adults went and looked at it, and I was talking to Cassie, Kyle, and Cheese like I usually do, and then Kyle asked me about playing this game with tornados and chestnuts and I didn't know what he was talking about, and then I turned to ask Cassie something, and when I turned back to Kyle, he kissed me and I didn't know what to do and I was freaking out and trying to tell him that he can't do that because I have my Wyatt and I don't like him anymore but he kept trying to touch me so I ran to go find Wyatt but when I walked out of the room it turned into this house I've never been to before, and it was like a house party and it was the cast of Sex and the City, and all of Wyatt's friends who I'm not at all familiar with, and they were all looking at me with these awful glares, and I was trying to look down and Noah grabbed me and was like "Hey! I found you! Wyatt's been waiting for you in his  'room'", and he used air quotes and everything, and he dragged me into the basement which turned out to be the attic, and Wyatt was swimming in this big pool, and I jumped in to get to him, and we were swimming around together, and the bottom of the pool was glass so we could see the people in the house, and we were watching and making fun of them because all of a sudden we could breathe and talk underwater, and then Wyatt turned into Noah and he was like "Wyatt asked me to go have fun with you because he is busy," (just like on Pulp Fiction!), and so we went out to a movie and we saw all of my old friends standing around in the lobby and they saw me and we were talking to them for a while and Wyatt was there all of a sudden and he kidnapped me from the cinema, and we were driving back to my hose and he was trying to explain to me how Noah was trying to take me back to England because I was famous there and all this weird stuff I've never heard before, and we were in this car that was like a moving room an wheels, and when we got to my house it was filled with water, so we had to swim to get everywhere, and also, it was my old house in my previous town so, not my big tan one, but my big blue one, anyway, we were swimming around and we got to my old bedroom and it was all the same, except there were all these people that were Wyatt's friends hiding in my closet and they were trying to get me so I jumped out of the window into this big garden that was like the pink flower-y level on the second Katamari, and I was rolling around in these flowers trying to stand up, and I just kept rolling in place, so I dove into them and I was back at school but nobody was there because it was on fire and they were all outside watching it burn, so I was trying to get out of there as fast as I could, but I got lost in this huge hall full of all these different staircases, and I chose a door instead, but it took me to a staircase that lead to an air duct, and crawled through and it took me to a ledge on the outside of the school, and I had to jump off into a crowd of people to not die, so I did, but I landed on some snow because they all ran out of the way when I wasn't looking in mid-air, and Wyatt came over to me but I didn't know because I was almost dead and then I woke up.

Yep.
I don't know what it means.
Usually, I can figure these things out, but not this one.

There is a disturbance in the force.

So, I've been trying to figure out what's up with me/you/the rest of the population this week, and I've come to the conclusion that it's me, but it's not my fault--kind of. This is a tad confusing I know, but bear with me for a paragraph or two.

So, on average, I think I spend about fifteen-twenty minutes laughing out of the week, and about four-five times that talking. I don't talk much, but I laugh a lot. BUT, this week, I feel that those numbers have dropped significantly. That's the only think I can think of. The only thing... I've tried everything else. Having the weird kind of unheard/made-up/childish superstition that I have (It's only one), I've done  a lot to try to fix this without actually having to put effort into this. So, I've thought of all the things I've been doing this week that I don't normally do, and I've come up with a list. I feel it kind of fits the theme of the new year with my resolutions and all. So, it's time for another Numbered List! All righty...

1) I've been wearing my grey bra rather than my green or blue one.
2) I've been combing my hair upside-down.
3) I've been using hemp lotion on my face.
4) I've been wearing clothes I bought after X-mas.
5) I've been sleeping with my vent above my bed closed*
6) I've been sleeping with shorts on.
7) There has been a purple wreath above my bed hanging on my wall somewhere.**
8) I've had a sinus infection.
9) The electrical tape on my headphones chord is coming off.


I think that's it. 
So, I'm going to try and change most of that, but I'm not sure any of it will work.
That's just one of the things I've always done. Like breathing or eating or being resentful towards the rest of mankind-- I just can't think of a time when I haven't done it.


Otherwise I'm going to have to put effort into in my problems to try and change them, and that's not fun. I'm too busy with other things.


Today I felt:
Eggplant


Tomorrow, I'm forecasting:
Grass
But we'll see...
I think I need the effort of me as well as the effort of everybody else to get there. I hope it's a good day.
I need one...


*I'm not sure if this counts. I can't remember how long ago I shut the vent, but I'm almost positive it was before Sunday...
** I changed this by moving it from above my bed to above my penis bear where I hang all my purses, but nothing happened, so now it's on the floor. Where it belongs!

A funny feeling.

My heart kind of hurts.
I don't like it.

I've been trying to think of the best way to explain it.
And I still haven't thought of one, but I'm going to try...

It feels like I'm scared, sad, worried, nervous, lonely, and heartbroken all at the same time.
I hate it.

I think it's because the past few days have been... This colour.
That, and I've been listening to music that is fantastic, but the lyrics are not for someone like me.
They're for people who have had bad luck in the love field, and that used to be me.
It is no longer.
And music has just this substantial effect on my life, so... I don't know what I'm going to do.
I think I just need to talk it out.
And listen to more love songs.
Which isn't an easy thing to do.
I didn't notice it until I was in a deeper relationship, but there really aren't that many good songs about love. Good as in not shitty, and positive towards it.
I can only think of a couple off the top of my head, compared to the tens and tens of sad-love songs.
I should write some...
I've never done that before.
It would be an interesting experience.

Speaking of things... I've started on a couple lists.
I'm happy with myself.
It's harder than I thought, but I'm still having fun with it.

But all in all...
I want very much to be content right now.
I think tomorrow should be good.
*sigh*... I don't want it to happen though.
I'm not ready.
I wish it would go back a couple months, and then we can come back to now.
Or just skip to summer.
I don't like school.
It's stressful.
I'm terrified to do it.
And lazy about it.
Which doesn't help my problem...

Today I felt:
Whatever this is.


Edit:
I think I could use some attention too.
I feel like I've been kicked out of the social box left to wonder around the boarders of it, looking in on everyone else. I don't know what to do about that though. I'm going to give it a few days before I figure that out...

When there is nothing left to burn...

You must set yourself on fire.

So it's the last few hours of being trapped inside my house.
My tan fortress of solitude.
Which is good and bad. While I was stuck in here, I made up a list of eight cons about living alone.
Do you want to hear it?
Well, I'm going to tell you anyway.

1) There is nobody around incase you fall or are grabbed by a grab-me-gotcha from under the couch or something.
2) It takes forever to get the bed warm when you're trying to fall asleep. I swear I lay there freezing for half an hour before the sheets start to warm up from my body heat.

3-8) It's pretty lonely. Even with a cat.

Speaking of lists, I've included that topic into one of resolutions for the new year. Which I've made into a nice little list for your convenience.

1) Stop eating bad things. And use chopsticks more often.
2) Get a job, damn it.
3) Coming Soon!
4) Don't get pregnant. Nobody wants that.
5) Make lists about everything again. I used to and I loved it; I don't know why I stopped...
6) Coming Soon!

So yes.
I think that seems pretty reasonable.
I don't know what to think about the future.
Except, what I know about it so far, I'm pretty unhappy with.
So, I hope once we get past about... early May, it will get a hell of a lot better than what I more or less know how it's going to be up until then.
Actually, I hope it's not at all what I expect, and it's a lot better.
But whatever.

Bleh... I want to go back in time.
I like it there better because I already know what's going to happen and it's fun.
None of this "responsibility" shit.

Today I felt:
This colour.