So, this past week has been... poppycock to say the least.
I got over my cold, only to catch a worse one, and I've done nothing at all mentionable with my time.
Well, I've cleaned out my closet, but that doesn't really affect me in any way since I never go in there in the first place. It was just something I had on my to-do list for the couple of weeks I have free.
But other than that... I've got nothing.
I had such fun expectations, and they've been shattered.
It's... bleh...
And there is a list of things I want to do, but I can't do any of them.
Mostly, I want to paint a rug onto my floor, but I don't have any paint.
But I have an idea and everything worked out...
Today I feel:
Indigo
Wednesday 30 December 2009
Monday 21 December 2009
indiscernible
I feel very insignificant today.
I mean, it's not like people aren't paying attention to me, they are, but I feel like I'm being drowned out by other people. I mean, I just want one thing, but nobody's listening...
*sigh* this is probably just a temporary thing.
Looking at my schedule for the next couple weeks, there are several opportunities to make it go away; but, I don't see it changing tonight. Or tomorrow, maybe possibly. Wednesday? Um... Friday should be good. I'm expecting a ukulele, and that should distract from myself, but it won't fix anything...
Satur-- No... Not saturday. I don't know...
I guess I'll get through it somehow.
I mean, time won't stop or slow down or anything...
I just have to wait for it to pass.
Today, I feel (felt):
Beige, Grey, and Orange.
I mean, it's not like people aren't paying attention to me, they are, but I feel like I'm being drowned out by other people. I mean, I just want one thing, but nobody's listening...
*sigh* this is probably just a temporary thing.
Looking at my schedule for the next couple weeks, there are several opportunities to make it go away; but, I don't see it changing tonight. Or tomorrow, maybe possibly. Wednesday? Um... Friday should be good. I'm expecting a ukulele, and that should distract from myself, but it won't fix anything...
Satur-- No... Not saturday. I don't know...
I guess I'll get through it somehow.
I mean, time won't stop or slow down or anything...
I just have to wait for it to pass.
Today, I feel (felt):
Beige, Grey, and Orange.
Saturday 19 December 2009
*Snork!*
So, I'm sick again. One might hold my lack of physical activity accountable, but I'm going to go ahead and blame this on my lazy immune system. It's a new disease I discovered. I call it LIS, which stands for "Lachrymose Idolater syndrome". But I'm almost finished with this current episode, so I should be back to my old self before the holidays.
I don't think I'm all that selfish, but I often feel it. Often.
I'm supposed to ask more of people, but I think I'm going to stop completely, because I feel bad for doing it...
Today though... today was awful. All I did was lay in bed and watch movies.
I watched, "I'm a Cyborg, But it's OK", "Pulp Fiction", "The Puffy Chair", and some reruns on IFC, which is always fun. It's a phenomenal channel. But I did this because I was alone in my house all day. I didn't enjoy that. And when they came back, they didn't even bring any left overs from dinner. They obviously don't love me if they aren't willing to put half-eaten, cold food into a Styrofoam prism for me.
I'm lonely right now.
You know what I'm doing tomorrow, though?
Nothing.
I'll probably sleep all day, because that's what my weekends have come to.
And the X-mas isn't going to be any better.
All of my family is a few hundred miles away, so we aren't seeing them, as with my friends.
So it's just going to be me, my cat, my bamboo plant, and my ukulele for a couple weeks.
In my house.
I don't even get to stay anywhere fun.
We never go anywhere anymore...
The last vacation wasn't even a vacation.
It was like, four days in the middle of Wisconsin with my least favourite group of relatives.
And it was a wedding, so it made me feel terrible about myself.
Bleh...
Maybe if I have money and a trip to the craft store, I'll sew together my own friend over break.
That would be fun.
We could go to the park. Well, no we couldn't because it's fucking cold up here in the middle of nowhere.
More ranting!
Everybody in the world needs to learn how to crochet, because I have so many things I want to do, but I have like, six things I need to do for other people first. And it's been that way for a few months.
I learned how to do this for myself...
But I'll continue to do stuff for other people, because that would be mean if I didn't.
Music Time!
Okay, so I've been a fan of Podington Bear for a while, but just recently have I discovered his huge magnitude of freaking amazingness.
This man is Jesus to me.
He takes sound and turns it into this visual, soundual, texturual, fucking masterpiece for your thinking brain to go on an adventure with, and... I love this guy.
Go see/hear/touch his music with your ears and prepare to have them opened to this outer-space, magical unicorn ride that is the most scrumptious thing I'm sure you've ever heard.
I think I'm done now.
Today I felt:
Plum.
As of now, I feel:
Persian Red Dusty Blue.
I don't think I'm all that selfish, but I often feel it. Often.
I'm supposed to ask more of people, but I think I'm going to stop completely, because I feel bad for doing it...
Today though... today was awful. All I did was lay in bed and watch movies.
I watched, "I'm a Cyborg, But it's OK", "Pulp Fiction", "The Puffy Chair", and some reruns on IFC, which is always fun. It's a phenomenal channel. But I did this because I was alone in my house all day. I didn't enjoy that. And when they came back, they didn't even bring any left overs from dinner. They obviously don't love me if they aren't willing to put half-eaten, cold food into a Styrofoam prism for me.
I'm lonely right now.
You know what I'm doing tomorrow, though?
Nothing.
I'll probably sleep all day, because that's what my weekends have come to.
And the X-mas isn't going to be any better.
All of my family is a few hundred miles away, so we aren't seeing them, as with my friends.
So it's just going to be me, my cat, my bamboo plant, and my ukulele for a couple weeks.
In my house.
I don't even get to stay anywhere fun.
We never go anywhere anymore...
The last vacation wasn't even a vacation.
It was like, four days in the middle of Wisconsin with my least favourite group of relatives.
And it was a wedding, so it made me feel terrible about myself.
Bleh...
Maybe if I have money and a trip to the craft store, I'll sew together my own friend over break.
That would be fun.
We could go to the park. Well, no we couldn't because it's fucking cold up here in the middle of nowhere.
More ranting!
Everybody in the world needs to learn how to crochet, because I have so many things I want to do, but I have like, six things I need to do for other people first. And it's been that way for a few months.
I learned how to do this for myself...
But I'll continue to do stuff for other people, because that would be mean if I didn't.
Music Time!
Okay, so I've been a fan of Podington Bear for a while, but just recently have I discovered his huge magnitude of freaking amazingness.
This man is Jesus to me.
He takes sound and turns it into this visual, soundual, texturual, fucking masterpiece for your thinking brain to go on an adventure with, and... I love this guy.
Go see/hear/touch his music with your ears and prepare to have them opened to this outer-space, magical unicorn ride that is the most scrumptious thing I'm sure you've ever heard.
I think I'm done now.
Today I felt:
Plum.
As of now, I feel:
Monday 14 December 2009
Numbered Lists.
Things bad with my life right now:
1. I look like a lesbian from 1996.
2. I've recently lost my sense of humour until further notice for reasons unbeknownst to me.
3. I'm still invisible and/or just not worth paying attention to, to everybody around me.
4. I'm tired and uninterested with life.
5. I'm cold.
6. I can't find the remote to my telly, and you can't change the channel otherwise.
7. I need to do laundry, but I'm never home when the washer is empty.
Things not-so-bad with my life right now.
1. I recently finished a hat I can't ever wear because everybody is a fuck nugget.
2. There are some hockey games tomorrow night I get to go to, and pretend to be happy at.
3. I can wear my hat to hockey.
4. I still have one friend from Saint Hell-hole that talks to me when she has time.
5. Breanna has fleas. (that one makes me laugh)
1. I look like a lesbian from 1996.
2. I've recently lost my sense of humour until further notice for reasons unbeknownst to me.
3. I'm still invisible and/or just not worth paying attention to, to everybody around me.
4. I'm tired and uninterested with life.
5. I'm cold.
6. I can't find the remote to my telly, and you can't change the channel otherwise.
7. I need to do laundry, but I'm never home when the washer is empty.
Things not-so-bad with my life right now.
1. I recently finished a hat I can't ever wear because everybody is a fuck nugget.
2. There are some hockey games tomorrow night I get to go to, and pretend to be happy at.
3. I can wear my hat to hockey.
4. I still have one friend from Saint Hell-hole that talks to me when she has time.
5. Breanna has fleas. (that one makes me laugh)
Sunday 13 December 2009
Found.
Imagine this: You are walking down the centre of a parking lot; it is cold and windy outside, you're looking forward, not paying any mind to what's around you, when you spot a bright red piece of plastic in the snow. You pick it up, and low and behold, it's a flash drive! And it's beautiful... Who knows what kind of untold secrets this tiny crimson box withholds. To take it home and plug it in would be like opening up some sort of mysterious treasure chest you found in the trunk of some car.
*sigh* I'm tired.
Long story short, there were some videos of people trying (and failing) to ride on their bikes backwards, and jump over bikes on scooters. Then there was a bunch of music that didn't make sense (i.e. Smooth Jazz, a Soundtrack, and some weird Metal Alt.) Also some pictures of a sad-lookin' beach, some album art pictures, a couple of book reports?, and a "secret diary" entry that was the most boring thing I've ever read.
It was still neat though.
*sigh* I'm tired.
Long story short, there were some videos of people trying (and failing) to ride on their bikes backwards, and jump over bikes on scooters. Then there was a bunch of music that didn't make sense (i.e. Smooth Jazz, a Soundtrack, and some weird Metal Alt.) Also some pictures of a sad-lookin' beach, some album art pictures, a couple of book reports?, and a "secret diary" entry that was the most boring thing I've ever read.
It was still neat though.
Saturday 12 December 2009
Saturday 5 December 2009
I'M starting to feel like it's been a...
Long while since I started this short story I'm doing, and I already feel like it has been forever.
One day, I want to be able to just sit down and type out ten pages, but I feel like that's never going to happen.
Not that I expect myself to be there tomorrow, or next week, or even in a few years, but still...
Every time I sit down to type a paragraph it seems to go pretty quickly.
Like, I'll look up and a half-hour has gone by.
You know, I just don't think it should take that long to pull a paragraph into existence.
*poof*
When I read what I have typed so far though, I'm extremely happy with what I have.
I am doing a lot better than I thought I would.
Low expectations are good to have. You either do a lot better and are happy, or you fail and it's not all that bad.
Little by little it's coming along, though, and one day it will be done and I will be satisfied.
Yeah... I've been considering posting a WIP of it on dA to get criticism and to see if it's even worth finishing.
On the other hand, I don't know if I want to ruin the surprise, or if it would help me at all.
Unnecessary uploads are a burden on everybody. So, I don't know.
Besides the thing I'm working on now, I have one other really awesome thing I'm doing.
Every time I have an idea, I've been trying to follow through on it... It's going well, I think.
When I finish with these though, I'm not to sure what I'm going to do next.
It's not to often I have kind of interesting ideas like this to write about.
The next time I do might be a long while...
However, they might not. Maybe they'll just keep coming at a steady pace and I won't run out for a while...
Moving on... Hmm... I... Don't think I have anything more to ramble on about.
Eventually I will though, so don't worry. It's not the end of procrastination posts...
¿'kay?
I also have this fear smouldering inside of my chest, eating away at the rational part of my brain.
My heart has been racing for the past few hours...
It makes my stomach feel like it's suspended from my lungs, and it hurts...
One day, I want to be able to just sit down and type out ten pages, but I feel like that's never going to happen.
Not that I expect myself to be there tomorrow, or next week, or even in a few years, but still...
Every time I sit down to type a paragraph it seems to go pretty quickly.
Like, I'll look up and a half-hour has gone by.
You know, I just don't think it should take that long to pull a paragraph into existence.
*poof*
When I read what I have typed so far though, I'm extremely happy with what I have.
I am doing a lot better than I thought I would.
Low expectations are good to have. You either do a lot better and are happy, or you fail and it's not all that bad.
Little by little it's coming along, though, and one day it will be done and I will be satisfied.
Yeah... I've been considering posting a WIP of it on dA to get criticism and to see if it's even worth finishing.
On the other hand, I don't know if I want to ruin the surprise, or if it would help me at all.
Unnecessary uploads are a burden on everybody. So, I don't know.
Besides the thing I'm working on now, I have one other really awesome thing I'm doing.
Every time I have an idea, I've been trying to follow through on it... It's going well, I think.
When I finish with these though, I'm not to sure what I'm going to do next.
It's not to often I have kind of interesting ideas like this to write about.
The next time I do might be a long while...
However, they might not. Maybe they'll just keep coming at a steady pace and I won't run out for a while...
Moving on... Hmm... I... Don't think I have anything more to ramble on about.
Eventually I will though, so don't worry. It's not the end of procrastination posts...
¿'kay?
I also have this fear smouldering inside of my chest, eating away at the rational part of my brain.
My heart has been racing for the past few hours...
It makes my stomach feel like it's suspended from my lungs, and it hurts...
Tuesday 1 December 2009
I've discovered something Amazing!
There is this thing called mystery google, okay? And it's awesome.
Well, someone put their phone number up with a thing that's like "text me with your deepest secret" and I'm like "Hmm... that's a good idea, I'm going to steal it", so I did and I have had the most wonderful conversations with strangers from all over the place. It's just... fun.
Really fun.
That was a short post.
Love,
Emma
Well, someone put their phone number up with a thing that's like "text me with your deepest secret" and I'm like "Hmm... that's a good idea, I'm going to steal it", so I did and I have had the most wonderful conversations with strangers from all over the place. It's just... fun.
Really fun.
That was a short post.
Love,
Emma
